On the edge of night
by Blunablue
Summary: Another moonlit night in bakumatsu kyoto... But two people, damaged by blood and war, discover unexpected feelings for each other. OneShot, Kenshin and Tomoes PoV.


_**A/N: **Just the result of being sunk in (partial very philosophic) thoughts about a moonlit night in bakumatsu kyoto, tho people finding deep buried feelings within them, and the general meaning of night and day in a persons' soul._

_Heartily greetings to me beta-reader, Scarred Sword Heart a__nd SkyChild for her grammatical and rethorical corrections! Thanks a lot for your help!_

_Pleace notice: english's not my native language (greetings from germany) so pleace be not too harsh in your criticism. I tried my best. Somem german phrases are included, I wanted to give the story some kind of song-fic-feeling... now, enjoy _

**_Disclaimer:_** _No money, no rights, nothing (cries) -- All RuroKen-stuff belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki a.o. (snif)_

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**Thoughts on the edge of night**

**written by blunablue**

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Nachtluft – night-air

It's time. I leave the warmth of the room, feeling myself instantly wrapped in the chill air of the night. The cold - she seems to hold me tight, knowing out of a sinister foreboding, that I intend to spoil her pure scent again. Because wherever I go, the unmistakeably sweet smell of death will follow me. It coats me as well as my enemies, takes our breath away, lets our hearts race even faster - brings our minds one step nearer to madness.

_…Schneller und schneller, an den Rand des Abgrunds…_

_…Faster and faster, one more step into the downward spiral …_

Mondlicht – Moonlight.

Shadowlike I rush trough the silent alleys – they wait, like me, with horrible anticipation for new nightly horrors, ready to suck up the screams and the blood of the dying in their pavement. Nobody but the mute stones will witness the wrath I am going to bring upon the enemies of the new age, nobody – except maybe the moon, whose cold-burning glare I can feel in my back and whose lidless eye assures me that not a single one of my ruthless deeds will ever be overseen or forgotten.

Once he was my friend and confidant, who shared with me the bitter memories of my shattered childhood. But now instead of confidence, his pale gaze only sows torturing questions and doubts in my heart.

But I take vengeance. Without giving him the chance of self-defence, I make him share the guilt of my many crimes - forcing him to face his stained self in a mirror of blood and within hoping, that some day he will die out of shame and disgust - for he has seen the empty shells of our existence in all their ugliness too often.

_…In einem Spiegel aus Blut, sterbe vor Scham..._

_…in a mirror of blood, die out of shame and disgust…_

Stille – Silence.

Not a single sound is audible. My surroundings do not dare to break the silence, afraid, they could give away my well-hidden presence. Even my breath, my heartbeat and my blood's heat have edged away – lifeless, I'm waiting in the dark, a statue of cold stone, and no feeling crosses my heart, not even in the short moment, when I face my victims, killing them with a swift stroke, seeing the light in their eyes fading away.

Maybe I am already dead.

_...verstummendes Herz, das Licht deiner Augen erlischt..._

_...silence your heart, the fading light in your eyes..._

Dunkelheit – Darkness.

The demon of Kyoto – that's not a human, that's me. Inescapable, the air around me is now soaked with the coppery smell of blood. I know this maddening fragrance won't come off my hands, will hunt me forever. It fills my lungs, makes my soul numb with its poisonous haze. My blade seems to cry for more, tremulous awaiting the next dusk, when it can drink again – but I am exhausted, unendingly exhausted. I long for sleep, because only the nightmares can show me that I am still alive, that I am still human.

_...Ich lebe die Dunkelheit, in quälenden Träumen bin ich lebendig..._

_...I live the darkness, in torturing dreams I'm alive..._

Morgendämmerung – Dawn

At sunrise I return to my room at the Inn, leaving behind the horrors of just another night. I am already so used to being a shadow in the dark – the light of day, exposing me to everyone, is now nothing more than an annoyance to me. Tired, I'm sinking down, back to the wall, closing my eyes, taking one last breath of this random and yet never again returning night – that's when I smell it: Hakubaikou. Your fragile scent lingers still in this room. It was only yesterday, when we sat here together, you asking the piercing question, why I didn't kill you in the night of the bloody rain.

_...The smell of white plums at dawn..._

Warmness returns to me as soon as the first sunlight touches my skin. Night looses her chains around my heart and the smell of blood fades. Somehow your voice can reach me throughout all this madness, your eyes seem to grip me. You think of me as a ruthless assassin, and you are right: I can murder my enemies, the quietude of night, the pure light of the moon and the innocence of my soul - but never you, Tomoe. I could never kill you.

_...You're pure like a newborn day..._

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Nachtluft – night-air.

Finally I can breath again, feeling alone and unwatched. Entering the chill realm of night, I feel all the burden of my daily tribulations falling off my shoulders. In the darkness I can be myself at last, giving vent to my feelings.

When the sun sets I can drop my mask – though I am afraid, not knowing what I'll find behind it – if anything at all. My lungs are full of nightly air and I ask myself again: How long? How much longer until this madness finally ends?

_...lass die Maske fallen, beende den Wahnsinn in mir..._

_...let me drop the mask, make this madness end..._

Mondlicht – Moonlight.

He stares down on me like nothing has changed. He fills the night with his illusory light of silver, casting a spell of everlasting sleep over the city. But it is just a phantasm, quickly washed away in a rain of blood – I have seen it with my own eyes on that fateful night, encountering the murderer of my love, falling into the arms of death. You have hidden your pale face back then, instead crying for me with cold tears. But now you're brighter than ever, and you glare reproachfully down on me. I see myself in you, pale and dead – just as dead like the one I am going to betray.

_... weine für mich silberne Tränen, blasser Tod..._

_...cry for me with silver tears, pale death…_

Stille – Silence.

Only my heartbeat breaks through the quiet surroundings. Unconsciously I'm holding my breath while thinking of you – where you are, what you do, and when you will return.

The silence becomes heavy and just as unbearable as being in your company.

I thought you destroyed all feelings left in me. I thought, I was dead within, only a tool of revenge, afterwards thrown away. But why I am suddenly feeling this pain, looking into your silent blue eyes? Why beats the blood in my veins and in my heart, reviving me, only in your company?

_...In der Stille deiner Gegenwart lerne ich, neu zu empfinden..._

_...In your silence, I learn to feel again..._

Dunkelheit – Darkness

A demon. That's how they call you. But I deserve that name, too. When it gets dark, all those never-spoken words and restrained feelings come to hunt me down, to tear me apart. The pain would have killed me if I hadn't found someone to hate.

It's strange, but I can't hate anymore, now knowing the dark depths of your world.

_...Deine Dunkelheit quält mich..._

_...It tortures me to know your darkness..._

Morgendämmerung – Dawn.

Day comes and I am still waiting. When you return out of the night, you're accompanied by the hazy smell of blood – but daylight tries to change you back, back to the innocent boy you wanted to stay deep inside your heart.

That's why I can't hate you

That's why I can't kill you.

Revenge has lost its cause seeing you, fulfilling the punishment yourself.

_...In dawn I see you die..._

One look at you and I see the destroyer of my love.

One look at you and I see a human, longing for love but refusing to feel it.

Touching you, I want to detect if you're still alive – even if you'll kill me. I know the madness and despair of your violent life by one look into your blue eyes. They are flat, numb and expressionless – but still, I can see a spark of life in them, a spark, that wants to be enlightened into a bright fire. The remains of your pure nature and your innocence.

_...and becoming alive again..._

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…Uniting day and night within, you live at the edge of both.

_You can only find your truth in between…_

…Uniting life and death within, you live at the edge of both.

_You can only find your truth in between…_

…Find your answers, at the edge of night…

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I hope my english wasn't too crappy and you liked it.. please review! :)


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